The Ardor Arbiter Starter Kit I may be spoiling the surprise a bit for those of you who have not gotten your valentine yet, but here it is:

The Monstress Certified Ardor Arbiter Starter Kit.
Medium: Silkscreen, Xerography
Edition: 325

I've spotted 2 errors so far, sorry about that. I was a bit tired. I have fixed them on the downloadables, so they are now marks of authenticity of the first edition.

I will be mailing the international and out-of-state ones today and tomorrow and will set up 2 NYC pick-ups, one for Brooklyn, one for Manhattan. I am also trying to figure out the best way to organize and post the other valentines I have made, and all the ones sweet people have given to me.

Download pdfs of this valentine!

• Ardor Arbitor Pamphlet & ID Card 
• Ardor Arbitor Citations

 

Yeah...

There were a  few years that were really hard. No valentines. I started some ideas, got about 10 paces in, dropped them all like hot potatoes.

I did some Valentine Related Design work:

I thought it was cute...This was to be a gig poster for this all-lesbian band, but the lead singer wanted the posters to have her photo displayed prominently. Oh well.

front 

The Monstress Just Maybe Pennant
first edition: 200
second edition: 300

Silkscreen, felt, starch, wooden dowel

 

back
I was hoping to figure out products that would require no words. After months and months of mulling, I made this in a wild week of sewing and printing and ironing. Hmm. I wanted it to be obviously handmade, but the type is not very well done at all.

It actually is one of the more popular valentines — just about every house I visit has one, unless it's the house of a new friend. And I have had a number of strangers track me down to ask for one, after seeing one out in the world.

Here it is in action:

DaytimeThe Monstress Emotional Openness Signal Kit
3-color process, phosphorescent silkscreen
Xerography
edition of 145
February 2004

 

 

Nighttime The package reads as follows:

IS IT HARD FOR YOU TO LET DOWN YOUR GUARD? ARE YOU UNACCUSTOMED TO EXPOSING YOUR SOFTER SENTIMENTS TO THOSE WHO ARE IMPORTANT TO YOU?

In these apprehensive times, we sometimes forget to take the risks so necessary to fully live life. In order to help you at moments of hesitation, Monstress has developed the EMOTIONAL OPENNESS

INSTRUCTIONS:

• Take device sheet out of package.
• Cut the devices apart along the preprinted dotted line.
• Choose the appropriate device for your present time of day.
• Using one of the provided safety pins, affix the device to your sleeve.
• Face the person or persons with whom you wish to share an open moment.
• Position the device so that it is easily seen by the aforementioned person(s).

The EMOTIONAL OPENNESS SIGNAL is designed so that you may easily improvise your own means of communicating the onset of a moment of unguardedness. You need not pin the device to your clothing: you could simple wave it about, or hang it somewhere to remind yourself to occasionally loosen control over your more tender feelings.

POSTSCRIPT:
Later on, during the dryspell, I considered using the drawing I did for this device to make plain Badge-o-Matic buttons, but decided not to. If I couldn't think of anything new, I wasn't ready to publish.  

 

The rarest Monstress Valentine

The Monstress Pulmonary Certitude Testing Kit
silkscreened cardboard package,
metal and sculpey™ parts, magnets
edition of 500, eventually
Brooklyn, 2003

More details to come on this one. Each one took about 30 minutes or so to assemble and a lot of people did not get this one. I made enough of the parts to make 500, still need to finish the last BIG wave. I'll put up the directions.

 

Front of CardThe Monstress Love-Facilitated Vision Enabler
6.5" X 4.25"
silkscreen, acetate, web animation
edition of 300
Brooklyn, 2002
NOT FOR SALE

 

 

 

Back of Card

This valentine was my first art piece with a web component. If you were one of the recipients of the card, you could come to this site and watch a secret message which was revealed when you looked through the red film lens.

 

 

 

 

 

Love-Facilitated Vision Enabler Secret Movie

 

For those of you who received the 2002 MONSTRESS VALENTINE, I have posted the little movie above. Please hold the valentine up against one eye (with the other closed). Watch the secret message, hit refresh if you want to see it from the beginning.

TROUBLESHOOTING:

It´s too dark. Here is a lighter one.

 

It´s too fast. Just drag the gif onto your desktop and play it in your browser from there.
I didn't get a Valentine. Here for a non-secreted form of the movie.

 

All My Os

Postscript:
This whole piece came together when I discovered all the scrapbooking die-cutters at a paper shop.

We has to pull Stoney off the poor thing.Break My Really Big Heart Piñata
Paper Maché
3.5' x 2.75'
Brooklyn, 2002

I had a little Valentine Party to celebrate finally getting all the Valentine Work done. The Heart Piñata proved a most cathartic climax to the evening. It was stuffed with chocolates, chewy candies, and pick up lines. I can't remember if there were condoms. That week was a blur.

Sorry the image quality is poo...The Monstress Desktop Heart
online image for people to grab
1200px X 900px
New York City, 2001

I was so poor that year... I hope one day to find the original file as it had some charm. Obviously I was still learning Illustrator.

It's ugly but very, very heartfelt..

 The Monstress Signifier of Love
dimensions 9" x 16"
silkscreen and 2 color xerox (folded insert)
edition of 300
Bloomfield Hills, MI 1998
NO LONGER IN PRODUCTION/NOT FOR SALE

The Signifier of Love was the first Valentine I did on a computer, about a month after I turned a computer on for the first time. I was learning how to use Illustrator specifically, and typography generally.

 

 
Text from the Signifier of Love:

This packet is a symbol of profound sentiment including one (if not all) of the following feelings:
––due to the woefully inadequate nature of language, there is no guarantee of accuracy in the following list, nor are these expressions listed in any sort of order of importance––

i love you; i think you are cute; i miss you; i need you; i will never forget you; you have changed my life; i owe you; you are the most beautiful, amazing, sweet human being on the planet and holy cow am i glad i know you; i think you make good art; you collate with an alacrity hitherto unknown to this office; nice ass; there have been ballads written for people like you; why the hell are you not king?; I can't tell you how much you mean to me; i wish we were closer; i am sorry for ever hurting you; you need anything, you tell me, okay?; I forgive you for hurting me, at least i am trying to, you difficult, difficult puppy; i heard your voice on the machine and actually waved hello; you are so lovely, you make breezes wheeze; i am so lucky to have you as a family; kiss me, you fool; you make me laugh without a trace of restraint or bitterness; humans are essentially good; if you hadn't been there for me, i would have been utterly consumed by crashing waves of self-doubt and bile; i like you, cutie patootie; good lord, help me fight my urge to squeeze this scrumptious morsel to bits, amen; i hope you like this, it's for you.

Front of Card

The Betty Valentine
6" X 4.25"
silkscreen, letterpress
edition of 200
Michigan, 1997
NO LONGER IN PRODUCTION/NOT FOR SALE

 

 

Back of CardI made this the year I met my first girlfriend. She was this really sexy bully. Everyone who got one thought it was really rather fitting. After this I started making the product valentines.